Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Just Relax..Now Open Them!

It’s my first time..shaky..nervous, but why? What if it hurts? What is I don’t like the way it feels? Can I take it out? Ahhhhhh! This is scary.

First times are always the worst. First bike ride, pedal pedal pedal, “Your doing great sweetie, keep going!” ..”CRASH!”. There I am in a pile of smelly rotten garbage bawling my eyes out, terrified to ever step foot on a bike again.
First day at school. A little nervous. I am about 3 feet taller than all of the kids in my class, even the boys. SLAP! A boy walks by me and slaps me. There I am left bawling my eyes out again. “How was your first day at school sweetie”. “DO YOU REALLY WANNA NO, I HATE IT!!! I AM NEVER GOING BACK TO SCHOOL, YOU CAN’T MAKE ME”. The next day, I get on the pee yellow coloured school bus and I go back to class.

The lights are now’s my first time..shaky..nervous..but why? He keeps telling me it will be alright, “Brid, just relax, let me do all the work” he thinks that this will reassure me. “Okay, but wait. Can I get a glass of water first please?” “Sure” Gulp, gulp, gulp. I devour the water from the paper cup. It’s a Dixie cup. I wonder who came up with the name Dixie.. someone’s first name, or last? Sounds kinda like a stripper name if you ask me. The water rushes down my throat in an effort to cure the ‘Sahara Desert’ feeling I am experiencing. Pound..pound..pound.. heart beating out of my chest.

First times are always the worst. My first date is an example of why there the worst. I put on too much makeup, I slightly resembled one of Willy Wonka’s Oompa Loompa’s, I wore so much perfume it woulda killed a whole anthill, and finally, I ordered sushi, in my opinion the messiest first date food. I went to say something with food in my mouth and spit some on him by accident.. OOPS!.. spilled my water on myself and was left to pay the bill when he said, “I’ll be right back, I have to go to the washroom” and never returned.

It’s my first time..shaky..nervous..but why? Here is goes. “Okay Brid, you ready?” he says. “Mhm I guess so”. “Just open them”. “Ugh! Well that doesn’t hurt at all. Then the second one goes in. I close them quickly then open them. This is amazing! I can see perfectly!

Monday, November 16, 2009

30 Seconds of Fame..

“Count down from thirty then you’re on”
“Wait..thirty!? Why so many numbers?..Out loud?”

It’s my first ever call in to the radio. An ironic thirty second cut in to Rock 94 after a previous thirty second count in, which would make it a whole minute of non-stop talking. Thirty seconds of which is live..


Why thirty seconds? This is killing me. Clammy hands, shaky voice and sweat seeping throughout my miniscule pores on my central forehead. What a job! All of the other girls got to do a recorded trial before going on air live, but not me. There wasn’t any time for that. We were already behind on broad casting from the annual Teddy Bear’s picnic. The immense glare from a lady that appears in her 80’s reaches my peripheral vision and in an attempt to rid her from my personal bubble I complete a giant step to the left and a butt shuffle forward.

“Excuse me miss, EXCUSE ME, why are you ignoring me”
(Oh my gosh old lady, can’t you see I am busy right now, your opinion which I am sure is just a mass amount of complaints about the type of music we play on our station and why we don’t play more Elvis, CAN WAIT!)
I don’t say this to her, there just isn’t time for me to say this.

It’s close to go time. *Shake a little, sweat a little more, drip..drip..drip..*

Boo-boo bear. Of course they would give me a tongue twister to say on my very first call in. Like the thirty seconds of counting out loud in front of a field of families, elders and the one and only Fred Penner wasn’t embarrassing enough.


“Hey it’s Brid from your Rock 94 street team. I am down here on this hot and humid day enjoying all of the awesome festivities at the annual Teddy Bear’s Picnic. (Hey! So far so good) There’s great food, music and activities including the boo-blue blear..I mean poo-boo pair..shit.. (Oh my god.. I just said shit on live radio, what do I do what do I say!) Come on down to the Teddy Bear’s Picnic. This is Brid from your Rock 94 street team..